Poor Combinations Installment: Sushi and Pie

I always enjoy unplanned trips to the grocery store. Walking down aisle after aisle instills a sense of limitless possibility for anything from light snacking to serious culinary endeavors. Tonight was no different. I had a crisp $10 bill in my pocket, a movie on pause in the dvd player (The Blob, 1988 remake), and an empty stomach. Since it was Pi Day pie was the top priority. I left King Soopers, an individual piece of “gourmet” blueberry and a nine-piece container of California rolls in my bag. Admittedly, King Soopers was a poor choice to secure top quality specimens of either dish, but time was a crucial factor and Soopers was just down the street. Five California rolls and most of the pie later, the error of my ways manifested itself in a twisting, churning, knot-tying sensation in my stomach. Bad news.

The Pie:
Crust was flimsy, soft, not in the least bit flaky. Gleaming with preservatives. Filling was thick with too much sugar, like gelatinous blueberry candy. It just oozed out of the substandard crust, like a darker colored version of the movie’s antagonist. Everything a good pie shouldn’t be. The opposite of pie. The anti-pie. A supreme disappointment on Pi Day.

The Sushi:
I’m no sushi expert. Not even a sushi aficionado or hobbyist or enthusiast. But I’m pretty sure good sushi shouldn’t taste like a mildly flavored paste. Or come in a pre-packaged plastic container.

Individually, the elements of the meal (though I sincerely hesitate to call it a meal) were lacking, and together they were transformed into a horrible stew inside my stomach, which soon repelled this foreign invader, violently. Okay, so I made up that last part. But the rest, all true. Lesson: no matter how powerful the urge to add pie as a suffix to a meal, it is important not to when sushi (or any kind of seafood, I imagine) is involved. You’ve been warned.