The Bagel Debate

Bagels are good food. This is not up for debate. Circular foods are pretty wonderful, and a bagel is circular in two dimensions. Wrap your mind around that. The method in which one eats a bagel, however, is a curious topic. Specifically, when a bagel has been cut in half, to promote the application of some sort of flavored spread, which half should be eaten first? Or should the two halves be re-assembled and eaten as a whole? To clarify, I consider the bottom of the bagel to be the side that contacts the pan when baked, and the top to be the more rounded, non-pan-contacted side.

Personally, I think one should eat the bottom first. The top is probably the best side of the bagel. More circular, more distinctly shaped. More importantly, it is completely untouched and unaltered by contact with the baking pan and is therefore more pure. The bottom, yeah, it's still good, but it's got that flatness to it, which is something like a flag waved in defiance of true bageldom. By eating the top first you experience all the bagel has to offer too soon and have nowhere to go--there is no progression to the meal. However, if you eat the bottom first, you get to experience the taste of the bagel, but still have the more aesthetically pleasing half to eat, thus concluding your meal with the best the bagel has to offer; it is a logical progression. And progression is a key element to fine dining.

Putting the halves back together and eating them as a whole, though, that's no good. It's a desperate act to finish the meal quickly. Maybe you're out the door and in your car and on the highway and can't be bothered with separate halves so you smash them together and shove the chewy bread roll down your throat without any though, any ritual. No, if you are going to take the time to separate a bagel into two pieces, spread some delightful spread over their exposed interiors, then you can take the time to eat them individually, to give each of them a chance to show you what they've got. Unless, of course, you've made a sandwich out of your bagel...but that is a discussion for another time.

Half-Fast Subs

To celebrate the end of the school year I walked over to Half-Fast Subs after submitting my final portfolio. I've been meaning to eat there for some time.
The Experience: being a little past noon on the last day of the semester, the place was understandably busy. Like, wait in line for twenty-three minutes busy. Really. However, I was committed to the cause and stuck it out. I'm sure if it wasn't for the overwhelming sense of relief and freedom that comes with the end of the semester I would not have been as contented as I was, and probably would have gone to any of the other sub shops nearby. I payed $9.87 for my sandwich, which is pretty ridiculous, though at 14" long that comes to about $0.70 an inch, which doesn't seem too bad. Note to future sandwich shop owners: instead of offering different sizes of bread, you should just charge a fixed rate per inch of sandwich.
The Sandwich: I went with the turkey avocado, as I felt it would be a good 'standard' for comparison to other sandwiches. Also, I'm a sucker for avocado. Other ingredients: french bread, mayo and tomatoes. There were supposed to be sprouts, which I would have liked, but apparently the FDA is advising against serving sprouts due to a salmonella outbreak. The sandwich comes with mozzarella, but I declined that option as I'm not much of a cheese enthusiast. At first I was excited about the possibilities of a 14" sandwich, but when the monster was delivered to my hands I realized what I had gotten myself into. Usually I'm not one to back down from culinary challenges, but after eating the first half I knew there was no way I could delve into the second half for a matter of hours. There was at least one full avocado on the sub (at most places you only get half) and a very decent portion of turkey, and when combined with the bread (which was the perfect thickness; just enough to hold the insides in place and add to the texture of each bite) made for a hearty meal. It came in a tinfoil wrapper that made for convenient storage of the second half. I really would have liked to have the sprouts, but as it was I was quite pleased with the taste. The turkey actually tasted like turkey and looked less like a condensed flap of processed meat and more like something you'd get off the actual bird. The avocado was delightful, though it was cut too thickly and placed on the outside edge of the bread (which wasn't cut all the way through, keeping it much more intact than if it were completely separated) and as a result was smooshed out the end of the sandwich with each bite. So a little messy, yeah, but smooshing is a risk you take with avocados. Other than the avocado, everything stayed in place, until the last inch or so, when everything started to seep out the back. There should be some way of injecting ingredients into a sealed loaf of bread, to keep this from ever happening. Anyway, it was messy, but in no way unmanageably so.
The Rating:
general:*
structural integrity:
ingredients: 1/2
effectiveness: *
aesthetics: 1/2
total: ***

Next time I'd go with the 7", definitely, and only then if the line was no more than half as long as it was. The sprouts might have bumped up the ingredients rating, maybe.